Priorities

Today, I have been forced to rethink my priorities. I woke up this morning with a whole laundry list of things that I wanted to get done (and coincidentally, no, laundry wasn't one of them. Did that yesterday...). And, so far, the only thing I've been able to cross off my list is that shower that I somehow managed to take before Hannah noticed I was gone. However, I didn't manage to get my hair done, or make-up applied. *sigh* And that pile of clothes and clutter in my bedroom is still in the same place it was this morning. *deep sigh*

Hannah is going through some kind of stage at the moment. She wants all-Mommy-all-the-time. She won't even nap if I put her down - I have to hold her. Now, I know some people might stop me right here and tell me that she's just spoiled, but that's not the case. The AP mommy in me knows instinctively that she needs this time and closeness for some reason, and that when she's ready, she'll let go. But it sure puts a crimp in my ability to get things done. And all of my babywearing devices would be useless for my chores today, because the spaces I need to work in are small, and there's not enough room for both of us. Our walk-in closet really isn't...

So, as I was sitting in the chair, holding her for her third cat-nap today, I stopped, and took a breath. And realized that *this* is what I needed to be doing today. The piles will wait. I can throw something together quickly for dinner. And I really need to *be* there for my daughter. In this season of ultimate busy-ness, I was given the gift of having to slow down, and re-think my priorities. Sure, it would be nice to have everything all put away. Sure, I like having pretty, clean counters. But my daughter doesn't care about such things. She just needs to be held, and to know that someone is there for her. When she can handle it, she'll let me go, and I can get about checking things off my list.

So, as I sat and held her, I watched the snow fall out the window, and I pondered. I began to wonder if this waiting wasn't part of the Advent preparation I am called to this year. So often, those things that I put so much emphasis on are not, really, in the grand scheme of the universe, all that important. And I need to be open to letting go of my own list, and more attune to just letting life happen, and trust that God will lead me in what He would have me do. I need to get better at allowing my list to give way to His. That's something I really need to work on...

So, my prayer for today is that I might become better able to let go of my own list of priorities, and to seek what God desires for me each day. Even if it involves letting the piles go for one more day... Let me find Him in everything, no matter how mundane or redundant the task. And to give thanks for finding peace where I least expect it.
Amen.